Announcing an Addition! And some overdue Appreciation ;)

We're PREGGO!!!!!

To some of you who know a little of our history, you know what a miracle this pregnancy is. So for the rest of you, I'll explain.

I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome about 2 years ago but have been dealing with its effects ever since puberty graced me with her presence. Thankfully, just a few short months after we got married, I was referred by a co-worker to a Nurse Practitioner named Esme Anderson who practices at a little clinic in Orem called, Athena Women's Clinic. Esme was the answer to our prayers. In addition to PCOS, she ran a panel of about 20 blood tests to help us figure out what exactly I needed to fix hormone and nutrient wise. I was also diagnosed with Hypothyroidism, low progesterone and various vitamin deficiencies.

To make a long story shorter, we spent a year and a half trying to get my body to function right with diet, prescriptions, and supplements. Some months were better than others but getting pregnant was not possible, physically or emotionally.



I'd like to pause for a second and make a tangent comment. This all went down during and after the holidays as Michael and I were taking time to adjust to married life. Moving in to our new home, both of us working full-time and Michael in school full-time as well, barely left us time to eat and sleep. Thus, I'd like to apologize to Michael for being an emotional nutcase of hormones and putting up with more than he thought he bargained for. He is the best husband in the Universe and I can't imagine life without him. His support and optimism throughout this ordeal, coming with me to all my appointments and his words of encouragement and faith in me, have shown me how truly perfect for me he is and what a wise decision The Lord helped me make when we decided to get married and spend eternity together.

I'd also like to apologize to everyone who came to our wedding, helped me and our parents with the reception and open house and to every single person who gave us gifts, gift cards and cards of congratulations. I hope none of you are offended that we were not able to send out personalized thank-you notes or that this apology and expression of gratitude is coming two years late. We were in awe of the generosity of so many family and friends and even friends of family that barely knew us. It was completely humbling and I still say a silent prayer of gratitude when I use household items I know we received from our wedding or were able to purchase with gift cards. All of those things as well as words of congratulations, encouragement and advice, truly helped us begin our life together on a happy and settled note. The guilt of not having sent out the thank you postcards we had printed, and even started working on, has weighed on me ever since those first holidays concluded. Finally a few weeks ago, Michael convinced me to get rid of them so I would not keep staring at them with guilt. He reminded me that we often don't receive thank you notes from friends we've given gifts to and don't think less of them for it; we also read a thank you note we do get, once before it goes in the recycling bin. So I'm writing this, asking for forgiveness if anyone wishes it, and moving on. I don't have energy for guilt and preparations for a baby will involve more than physically nesting so I'm doing spring cleaning on my emotional capacities as well :)

Aaaaanyways, back to my novel.

We went on a cruise a year ago and I have drafts of a number of blog posts, but my little old MacBook died leaving my pictures stuck on the hard drive. One of these weekends I'll make it a priority to get all that off, but for now, it's time to start fresh and keep up with the 'now'.

June 2012 came around and we decided to get off chemical birth control and see if my body had balanced itself enough to do its thing naturally. Alas, it was still doing whacky stuff so Esme adjusted my progesterone dosage several times to attempt to correct things. At the same time, I began working as a teen mentor at a group home for moderate risk teen girls and Michael went to India for 3 weeks in July! Working with the girls was exciting and extremely rewarding and in mid-November I was given the opportunity to go on a week long handcart trek with the program. It was hard but fun. Michael took the opportunity to ride his Honda Rebel down I-15 to San Diego at 55mph! He didn't get caught in too much bad weather in Utah and loved riding on the Pacific Coast Highway while in California.

Around November, I decided to stop taking my progesterone and see how long it took for my cycle to restart on its own. During the holidays, I wasn't charting much or watching my diet closely or generally stressing about anything. I just wanted to work and have fun.

Just before our separate trips in November, we went to a free Fertility Seminar held at the Hospital and we booked an appointment for the beginning of January, just before Michael would leave for India again in January and be gone four weeks. We started getting in the mindset of saving money for fertility treatments instead of a down payment for our first house.

I also scheduled a dentist appointment for the day before our fertility appointment. As a little background info, I have become increasingly afraid of the dentist as life has gone on. I get so tense that the localized numbing shots barely work. Thus, my wonderful dentist prescribed a drug that would calm me down and almost have an amnesia effect and I was super excited for it. Legalized drug use, yay!!!

After Christmas, I took a pregnancy test since it had been a month and a half since my cycle had started but it came back negative. This was normal for the old imbalanced me and so I continued waiting for my body to work itself out and figured I just wasn't fixed yet.

The morning of my dentist appointment, I woke up around 3am and got excited about my drug. I remembered you couldn't be pregnant while on it so I wanted to double check. I'd only taken a pregnancy test a little over a week before and 2-3 month cycles were common for the imbalanced me.

Lo and behold, a second line started showing on the test and I kept saying, "Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh!" For five minutes straight. When I pulled myself together, I realized I loved Michael too much to wake him up after only a few hours of sleep, so I spent the next several hours reading about pregnancy. Around 7am I couldn't wait any longer and I brought the little stick into our room and cuddled up to wake him. Finally, I handed him the test and he just stared at it for about 30 seconds.

M- "Is this an April Fool's joke?"

L- "Hahaha, no Honey, it's real."

M- "..."

L- "Honey?"

M- "Oh...um, congratulations."

L- "Thanks. You too!"

I canceled my dentist appointment and was one hour ahead of the 24 hour cancellation policy for the Fertility Doctor and was able to avoid the $50 cancellation fee for the best reason ever!!! I went back to sleep finally and Michael came home from work that day with a Costco rotisserie chicken, two dozen roses, and creme brûlée from Chef's Table to celebrate! :D

The next morning (the day before Michael left for India), I called the birth center that I had my eye on to schedule the free consultation session. They had an opening in 15 minutes or I could wait until the following week. I threw on some clothes and raced over there. The consultation was great and they said I could go ahead with my first appointment right then if I wanted, so I did. They referred me to the hospital for an ultrasound so that we could figure out how far along I was. That afternoon, Michael encouraged me to call the hospital and we got my ultrasound scheduled for that same day! Michael came with me to the ultrasound and we were able to see a small black dot on the screen. Wahoo! The ultrasound tech measured it at 4 weeks and 3 days but thought it might be less than that.

The next morning, Michael took a shuttle to the airport and was gone for a month.

Work was starting to get a little bit complicated especially about a week or so later when nausea started hitting me hard. Smells I once loved sent me running for the bathroom and foods I once loved, like chocolate and ice cream sounded completely unappetizing. I stocked up on Campbell's Split Pea Soup and made quesadillas nearly every day. If I wasn't working or eating while watching Netflix, I was sleeping- like 12 to 14 hours a day. I ran the dishwasher once a few days after Michael left and that concluded my housework. Dishes and laundry piled to the ceiling and for all I know, mice came out at night to the feast on fast food leftovers I left out on the coffee table.

Michael, bless his heart, was supportive and understanding even from India. He continually reassured me that since he had a maid doing his dishes and laundry while there, that I didn't have to do mine either. After a particularly rough day at work, he told me not to worry about the money and booked an in-home 90 minute massage that was so very needed.

About a week before he got back, I slipped on very icy stairs at work and sprained my wrist.

My boss was kind enough to take me to the doctor and wait for x-ray results and even drove our car home since stick shift wasn't an option for me. For about a week, I relied on my sweet visiting teachers for meals and rides when necessary. I've never been one to "need anything" but being home alone, with morning sickness and somewhat disabled, I had to humble myself enough to ask for help. I sincerely appreciate their time and energy.

Finally, I got to pick Michael up at the airport and started crying the moment I saw him. The following Monday morning, I was 9.5 weeks and we had our second ultrasound. This one seemed like the first since we only saw a dot the first time. Hearing the heartbeat for the first time and seeing the vaguely baby-shaped object swing its arms/legs was endearing. :)

Here is Baby Lewis' first picture:

To address a few of the FAQ:

I'm due in mid-Septemeber. The 'guess date' is the 12th but I don't want to get too set on a date since a lot of first time moms go over by a week. I believe this baby 'stuck' because of the miracle of modern medicine and a wonderful nurse practitioner who knew what my body needed and who taught me to trust my body. Having been low on Progesterone my whole mature life, I don't think I'd still be pregnant if it weren't for my Progesterone supplements.

We both would love to have a boy first. My reason is so that I can save some of the excitement of having a girl, for another pregnancy. All the 'signs' that it will be a boy are there- I have been craving sour & salty foods and been so sick.

If it is a boy, his name will be Nathan Richard and if a girl, she will be Kaylee Ann.

We are planning on a natural birth at the BetterBirth center in Orem with the amazing midwives there (ask me more about why if you're curious). I am currently trying to decide between HypnoBirth and HypnoBabies classes for labor preparation. Anyone that has used one or the other, feel free to comment with why you did or did not like your choice.

I want to apologize for not being more publicly supportive and happy for friends that have been pregnant and having babies this past year. I got to a point where I started removing everyone who was preggo or recently having babies from my news feed on Facebook. This was not because I wasn't happy for them, but because it was such a constant reminder of my own trials and pain. I know how hard it can be to watch (seemingly) everyone around you receive the thing you've prayed and prepared for for so long, but then you don't. You ask yourself why teen girls with drug problems or debt can get pregnant during one night of carelessness, while you are trying so hard to live right with someone you are committed to and love with your whole being, are left with one line on the pregnancy test time after time. So... to those of you who might still be in that same situation, I completely understand if you block my updates on Facebook. Do whatever you have to to stay positive in the moment and take advantage of the time alone with your husband while you take it one day at a time. Above all, know that your Heavenly Father loves you, hears your prayers and He does have a plan.

I think that's about it for now, so if there are other questions, feel free to let me know!